It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
