there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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