ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
