If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How external is "for external use only"?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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