Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
