I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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