Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
