i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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