thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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