U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
