Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
