Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
