Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
