hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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