So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
