all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
