I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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