He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
