he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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