I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
