..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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