I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
