the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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