his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i think i just lost a toe
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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