I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize