So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
