you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
