I cockslap morals
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize