She's JV to your varsity
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
