Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
