im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
the liver wants what the liver wants
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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