i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
