but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize