Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
