I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
