You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
