Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
