My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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