I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
