Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
