I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
