I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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