She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize