I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
