I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
