I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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