I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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