gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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