I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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