I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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