Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
