ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
