I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You ate ashes out of my bong
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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