dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
