Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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