Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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