Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
